Our Nation' State Parks...

We are finally in New York State, which boarders Vermont, so therefore feels like home, and we have had quite a bit of experience with camping in the State Parks, RV Parks and Private Campgrounds of this great nation. My opinion? State parks kinda suck when compared to their more common brethren the RV Park type or private campground. Perhaps I am biased because the Park Ranger woke Allison and I up at 8:45 to inform us that we had under paid for our spot at Geneva State Park in the pitiful state of Ohio. (I seriously encourage a wholesale boycott of this pathetic excuse for a state that is, quite frankly a blight on the face of an otherwise pretty decent country.) He informed us that we were $6 short of the $26 dollar fee for camping - which is a rough thing to deal with at such an early hour, particularly when you thought you had overpaid by $2 the night before. Tent camping is $18 - full hook up is $26, but we only had a $20, so what the hell? Let's just cough up an extra two spot for the Buckeye State. Not so much... You see, the camp spot we picked after the Camp Host kindly informed us that we could have anyone we liked as long as we were only staying one night, was an RV spot, and therefor required the full amount, even though we did not use the electricity, or dump a tank load of bodily waste down their pump station. Never mind that the damn place was dead ass empty, and they should have been thankful for our $20 in the first place.

OK, it gets worse.

He also informed us that our exposed beer bottles were in violation of state park rules and regulations. I need to be very clear about this. What he very specifically said was, "It is a violation, punishable by a $100 ticket, to display your alcohol in Ohio State Parks." It is NOT against the rules drink, it is just against the rules for anyone to see you doing so. I mean what kind of pole up the ass crap is that? And by the way, unless you have a screw loose you know damn well that part of camping is drinking, but this is where the trouble comes from. The State Parks of the United States of America are not set up for camping, they are set up for RVing, and do not give a damn about tents. Sure, there are spots you can hike off too in the woods, and I am sure they are darn nice - like the beautiful spot at the Bowl and Pitcher State Park in Washington State, which I HIGHLY recommend - but by and large what we are dealing with is RV parking lots, and old timers who sold the farm and are permanently on the road. You can build a fire, sure, but not with wood from another park, or state. The trouble here is, all parks require certified Wood Ash Borer free wood. I mean ALL of them. That pesky insect is the problem, so each time we enter a state park we have to surrender our wood - no doubt to go into the wood pile of the on duty ranger's stock for the winter. What a racket!

And for the privilege of using such parking lots: $26.

By contrast private campgrounds - which are still catering to RVs, you've seen them, they're the ones you think to yourself, "Jeeze, I would never camp there..." - cost about $14, have good showers, washers and driers, free coffee in the morning (state parks charge a $1.00) and there are no niddling, goody-two-shoes, Park Rangers coming round to mess with your good time. In fact, the private places tend to take a real laid back attitude towards tent campers and without exception welcomed us with open arms and wanted to know about our wedding, honeymoon, Nelie the Land Rover and in general were just very nice folks.

Allison has cautioned me to not get too far off on a rant because, after all, we are on our honeymoon, and we are having a VERY good time. So, I'll tone it down a bit. Maybe it's just that I am all kinds of bent because it was such an awful way to be woken up on your birthday! Not mine... Allison's!!! And I take it personally when a Ranger - or anyone for that matter - messes with my Wife's reality on her special day. Or, any day...

Happy Birthday Mrs. Williamson!!! Meow!!!

"Are you saying Meow?"...